Honor
There have been too many people to count, who have hand a hand or a finger in the development of who I am becoming. Darlene Buttram was the catalyst in my introduction to a life transcendent, believing in my ability to hear Holy Spirit even when I didn't think I'd ever met Him. I think of Jeff and Mel, who modeled for me what loving well looks like, in spirit and in truth. Danny and Stephanie come to mind, and the countless hours on their couch, wrestling through the growing pains I was experiencing in both my soul and my spirit. And there is Sean and Barb, who believed in me and, even without knowing, commissioned me into ministry by laying hands on me and blessing me and calling the Spirit down to dwell and overtake. Not to mention that the first time I'd ever heard Sean speak (I still remembered the message was "It Takes A River") was the first time I remember making a conscious decision to serve the Lord.
I have been listening to the teachings of Bill Johnson, and he has a lot to say about honoring those who have come before us. In knowing how to honor correctly, we recognize the God-given destinies on those we honor. Whether someone ended poorly or not, it is not my place to judge them, but to rightly see that Holy Spirit has used these ones to establish His kingdom in my heart. Being someone who has a great desire to mentor, parent, and disciple those who I go before, I know that there is no gauge for me to see fruit coming from my life unless there is a culture of honor in those who I pour into. Not to say that there is a need for me to see fruit develop. God only knows just how many great leaders died before their influence was ever publicly recognized. Yet if it is in my power to do so, I want to live my life in such a way that those who have done the hard work of investing in me feel encouraged and strengthened to continue as they observe my life. I know that I need encouragement this way at times, especially when the ones I have once poured myself out for are no longer within proximity.
"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it." Proverbs 3:27 (ESV)
There are a number of people who come to mind who, up until now, I have never recognized as being among these I've already mentioned. Whether my relationship with these individuals ended poorly or my ability to recognize their influence weak, I want to, at least in my heart, honor those who deserve it. I want to be thankful! My life has been so poured into by so many people. How little do we say "thank you" in our culture today? I mean, REALLY say "thank you" and mean it. I often feel like such a little ingrate. To bless and not curse, to give as I have already received, to speak life and truth, to love well - this is the way of the Kingdom, and I want to live in a culture that brings the Kingdom to the small patch of earth that I inhabit.
Labels: authority, honor, remembrance
i believe
"For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God." Rom. 8:19 (ESV)
my name is miriam saquing dumlao. my story is one that is like no other. there is a surety that is developing in knowing this - i am not of common DNA. i often fight this deep sense of destiny, replacing it with selfish ambition or a sense of inadequacy. because from the beginning, we are taught to be humble, right? yet all too often, we mistake self-deprication with humility. when a person rises above this and makes claim that he or she is anything more than a sinner or a broken man, that person is viewed as arrogant, haughty and unworthy of trust. so hear is my predicament.
a couple weeks ago, a group of friends and i gathered to celebrate the life of our dear friend, ray east. (ray is now a published author, and although i have yet to read his book, i know his heart and his character very well. i trust what he has to say, and i think you should check his book out here:
the life of manny: discovering why people follow a leader.) as we are sitting there, with this amazing breakfast in front of us, my friend, edward, says to me, "miriam, i don't know of a time when you've asked for something and didn't get it." in context, edward was referring to the speedily answered requests that i would make to the waiter. but i pondered his observation later on and realized that, in a myriad of circumstances, i have indeed asked and received. in some cases, i have asked for things that seemed damn near impossible for me to obtain. yet the truth remains that, for some reason not yet fully revealed, i carry weight in who i am. when i speak, people listen. God listens. when i act, i am observed. my friend, james, wrote in a letter once that i "cast a large shadow in the spirit." in the words of ron burgundy, "i'm kind of a big deal."
but "with great power comes great responsibility" (as peter parker's uncle, ben, has been quoted in saying). as much as i want to slip under the radar and live a life completely self-indulgent, not concerning anyone else and anything else but that which concerns me, i can't. i mean, i can, but i would be miserable and absolutely against the grain of who i am meant to be. i am not mediocre. i am not weak. i am not normal. and i think i'm ok with all of that.
with that, i'd like to proudly announce that, as of january 20th, i am officially back in college. to finish for real this time. as long as my financial aid goes through and all the channels are clear, my major will be psychology with a desire to work with those who've suffered abuse and trauma. and i most definitely wouldn't mind using the things i'm going to learn to mentally, emotionally and spiritually counsel high school and college-aged students into holistic growth. in other words, i want to "parent" some folks so maybe someday they will realize that they are big deals as well.
Labels: authority, freedom, humility, identity
