safe haven

i believe

"For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God." Rom. 8:19 (ESV)

my name is miriam saquing dumlao. my story is one that is like no other. there is a surety that is developing in knowing this - i am not of common DNA. i often fight this deep sense of destiny, replacing it with selfish ambition or a sense of inadequacy. because from the beginning, we are taught to be humble, right? yet all too often, we mistake self-deprication with humility. when a person rises above this and makes claim that he or she is anything more than a sinner or a broken man, that person is viewed as arrogant, haughty and unworthy of trust. so hear is my predicament.

a couple weeks ago, a group of friends and i gathered to celebrate the life of our dear friend, ray east. (ray is now a published author, and although i have yet to read his book, i know his heart and his character very well. i trust what he has to say, and i think you should check his book out here: the life of manny: discovering why people follow a leader.) as we are sitting there, with this amazing breakfast in front of us, my friend, edward, says to me, "miriam, i don't know of a time when you've asked for something and didn't get it." in context, edward was referring to the speedily answered requests that i would make to the waiter. but i pondered his observation later on and realized that, in a myriad of circumstances, i have indeed asked and received. in some cases, i have asked for things that seemed damn near impossible for me to obtain. yet the truth remains that, for some reason not yet fully revealed, i carry weight in who i am. when i speak, people listen. God listens. when i act, i am observed. my friend, james, wrote in a letter once that i "cast a large shadow in the spirit." in the words of ron burgundy, "i'm kind of a big deal."

but "with great power comes great responsibility" (as peter parker's uncle, ben, has been quoted in saying). as much as i want to slip under the radar and live a life completely self-indulgent, not concerning anyone else and anything else but that which concerns me, i can't. i mean, i can, but i would be miserable and absolutely against the grain of who i am meant to be. i am not mediocre. i am not weak. i am not normal. and i think i'm ok with all of that.

with that, i'd like to proudly announce that, as of january 20th, i am officially back in college. to finish for real this time. as long as my financial aid goes through and all the channels are clear, my major will be psychology with a desire to work with those who've suffered abuse and trauma. and i most definitely wouldn't mind using the things i'm going to learn to mentally, emotionally and spiritually counsel high school and college-aged students into holistic growth. in other words, i want to "parent" some folks so maybe someday they will realize that they are big deals as well.

Labels: authority, freedom, humility, identity

posted by miriam @ 3:04 PM