safe haven

o sweet solemn night

o sweet solemn night
how beautiful your air
the worries of my heart take flight
my heart now without care

you freely give the grace to run
my lungs take in your shape
how crisp your curves, beauty undone
from you i shant escape

Labels: poetry, winter

posted by miriam @ 4:38 AM scribble here : 2 comments

i believe

"For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God." Rom. 8:19 (ESV)

my name is miriam saquing dumlao. my story is one that is like no other. there is a surety that is developing in knowing this - i am not of common DNA. i often fight this deep sense of destiny, replacing it with selfish ambition or a sense of inadequacy. because from the beginning, we are taught to be humble, right? yet all too often, we mistake self-deprication with humility. when a person rises above this and makes claim that he or she is anything more than a sinner or a broken man, that person is viewed as arrogant, haughty and unworthy of trust. so hear is my predicament.

a couple weeks ago, a group of friends and i gathered to celebrate the life of our dear friend, ray east. (ray is now a published author, and although i have yet to read his book, i know his heart and his character very well. i trust what he has to say, and i think you should check his book out here: the life of manny: discovering why people follow a leader.) as we are sitting there, with this amazing breakfast in front of us, my friend, edward, says to me, "miriam, i don't know of a time when you've asked for something and didn't get it." in context, edward was referring to the speedily answered requests that i would make to the waiter. but i pondered his observation later on and realized that, in a myriad of circumstances, i have indeed asked and received. in some cases, i have asked for things that seemed damn near impossible for me to obtain. yet the truth remains that, for some reason not yet fully revealed, i carry weight in who i am. when i speak, people listen. God listens. when i act, i am observed. my friend, james, wrote in a letter once that i "cast a large shadow in the spirit." in the words of ron burgundy, "i'm kind of a big deal."

but "with great power comes great responsibility" (as peter parker's uncle, ben, has been quoted in saying). as much as i want to slip under the radar and live a life completely self-indulgent, not concerning anyone else and anything else but that which concerns me, i can't. i mean, i can, but i would be miserable and absolutely against the grain of who i am meant to be. i am not mediocre. i am not weak. i am not normal. and i think i'm ok with all of that.

with that, i'd like to proudly announce that, as of january 20th, i am officially back in college. to finish for real this time. as long as my financial aid goes through and all the channels are clear, my major will be psychology with a desire to work with those who've suffered abuse and trauma. and i most definitely wouldn't mind using the things i'm going to learn to mentally, emotionally and spiritually counsel high school and college-aged students into holistic growth. in other words, i want to "parent" some folks so maybe someday they will realize that they are big deals as well.

Labels: authority, freedom, humility, identity

posted by miriam @ 3:04 PM scribble here : 1 comments