waking up with last night's lipstick on
i want to make you happybut i've fallen, i'm sorry
i thought my wings could hold me up
with angels, not demons
you don't know how cool you are
to find the ways to love me without shame
"down towards the healing" by lovedrug
i've had vacation on the brain for the last two weeks. there is nothing like anticipation to give your heart a second wind, no matter how tired you find yourself. hope is a funny entity, isn't it? as mysterious as it is, it almost seems like a natural thing to have when so much good comes along in life. and i, for one, have not lacked in any good thing. i do not say this with any pride in me, but rather a sense of gratefulness for this overwhelming contentment i feel with my life. God's good graces have definitely found me and kept me close, and for this i am eternally humbled.
in light of this excitement for my time off, i engaged in some pre-vacation festivities last week. in fact, i had so much fun in these last few days that i did not sleep in my own bed for four (yes, FOUR) nights in a row! the details of the nights are not as important as the fact that, in my life, i have an innumerable amount of gracious people who look out for me. to be so far from "home" - my parents and my siblings, yet still feel well taken care of is something that i do not want to take for granted.
so thank you to jewells who, even after i unknowingly snapped at her when she tried to talk to me while i was sleeping, allowed me to take over her bed instead of taking offense and kicking me out onto the streets. i opened the store on saturday morning, and by the end of the night, was too disoriented to even walk to the train to head home. the coffee and conversation was delightful. you are so gracious, my friend!
thank you to matt and stephanie lind! you have opened up your home to me (and luke) a number of times, and you still allow me to do so without hesitation. i would not have been able to stay for sunday night prayer in 12F had you not let me crash at your pad. i enjoy your hearts, your humor and your evident love for all you come across. thank you for bringing me into your family and making me feel so loved!
HATZES! there is no other person i would want to get lost with after lifegroup in the financial district on a monday night but you, my love. we got some good snuggle time in on the train home, althought i don't remember much about the trip cuz i definitely fell asleep for most of it. thanks for showing me your queens pad and even moreso, offering me a place to live if i ever needed it. i'm honored to be doing life with you, friend.
and of course, i need to thank luke and the halsey boys. i am not sure if john knew i was there, but jay definitely gave me a pillow and blanket when i fell asleep on the massage recliner. bryan indulged with luke and i in partaking the goodness of the mozzarella sticks from the fried chicken spot on the corner. and luke slept in the living room with me to insure that no boys were to come out in their underwear. i did not intend to fall asleep at the (now all boy occupied) halsey house, but i did. so thanks, boys, for bearing with my narcolepsy.
i feel quite loved and unashamed to have had the privilege to spend much time in my friends' homes and even cars. (more like alex's car... ask him about it sometime. i've fallen asleep in that car TONS of times!) this is what family is for! to get into each other's lives and businesses, and to put up with each person's faults and meet each other's needs. it's spontaneous, it's messy sometimes, but in the end, it's the best. quite frankly, i wouldn't have it any other way.
