most
a day of rain and gloom and dread
enter domain with fangs of venom
one moment of impulse was bred
enter my rage into your heav'n
i sink my poison in your veins
bite into fleshly epidermis
with no regard of poison's stain
my weak remorse is Judas' kiss
now fumbling on my words i find
this rhythm of my words unsure
with rage yielded, fury resigned
ascertain now my heart is pure
humility is my refrain
relinquish power to hold you close
when pride is lost, it's you i gain
with sureness that i love you most
(my creative way of saying, "i'm sorry")
Labels: apology, humility, poetry
neuro-overload
it has been a long two days - 3 midterms, 4 papers & a presentation on the phylum kingdom (look it up, it's ridiculous). it was first exam season for me in five years, and every moment of it has been hard work. my brain has been flexed these last few days. i feel the weight of all this info just slightly above my head, pressing down ever so slightly, just waiting for the moment i squeeze it out onto the blue scan sheet. filling out these little bubbles has been so foreign to me. luckily i didn't forget a number 2 pencil!
fortunately, nothing that i've been studying has been discouraging. my former tendency was to quit before things got too hard (that's what she said... sorry, i had to). it helps that i'm older now, ready to work hard. it also helps that i don't have anyone but myself to pay for all of this - from tuition to the lead in my mechanical pencils, it's all me. money can be quite the motivator!
fresh out of high school, i wasn't willing to make the sacrifices - time, money, effort - to do well in college. the only reason i went was because it was expected of me. it is a shame that so many people spend their resources in school and come out clueless as to what they want to do with that very expensive piece of paper. i've learned so much about myself these last five years, so much has changed. it hasn't always been easy, but God has always been faithful. i walk with strength in my legs, gratitude in my heart, and confidence to hold my head up - nothing i come across seems too hard to bear. it's not going to be a cake walk, but i'm ok with that. everything worth fighting for has always come with a struggle. and in the end, no regrets and great contentment.
Labels: intellect, knowledge, school, weight
