Thursday, June 26, 2008

sweet

"Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see—
how good God is.
Blessed are you who run to him." Psalm 34:8 (The Message)

i haven't written in a while, i don't even know where to start. this happens often - i will be on a sort of writing binge, and shortly after, go through this mental purge as though i am a kind of literary bulimic. i will be riding the subway, walking down a busy street or even a quiet street for that matter, and ideas and thoughts that i have all intention of writing down will go through my head. unfortunately, when the time comes to write, i go blank. awful for someone who wants to be a writer, really.

there is something i will say about my day today. for as long as i can remember, i have never wanted to work a job or be involved in a company that i did not enjoy being apart of. life is just too short to despise what you do on a day-to-day basis, and i would say that i am SO fortunate to be doing something i love - connecting with people and drinking coffee all day long! obviously there is more to it than that, but today was one of those days i reflect on and think to myself, "do i really get paid to do this? is this really my job?"nothing felt out of place or stressed, no pressure to push myself to perform and nothing i was not able to do easily. it was brilliant!

i had no obligations after work today, i knew i had the apartment to myself, so i went grocery shopping. what a time, too! i'm pretty sure that grocery shopping only validates the fact that i am growing up. i get WHATEVER i want, and unlike the past, i buy things beyond junk food or quick, microwavable remedies for my hunger. tonight i bought steaks and vegetables and fruit; you know, grown-up things! it is all too weird sometimes, because i feel that my childhood - the state of dependency on someone other than yourself - was here just yesterday. and the next thing i know, i am buying my own toilet paper. i don't regret any of it, either. there are rarely ever any times i want to return to my days of youth, with the exception of being able to skateboard without fear or go running without getting so winded.

i definitely feel the joy of embracing this season of my life - i live in a city full of life and activity, i am getting deeper connected with young adults who are moving the same way i am and wanting to serve and love God and others just as much as i do, i work in a great environment with people who i love and i am feeling free to live comfortably in my own skin. everything in life tastes so sweet and appetizing to my palette. i don't have it all together, per se, but i am working it out with fear and trembling. there is so much i could be doing with my life, but for now, i am grateful for the chance to live under God's graces. now we'll see how the rest of the summer goes, eh?

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