first snow
this last week has been my first week here in new york. it has already turned out to be difficult, as i caught a raunchy fever on friday and was down for two days - with the exception of me walking to the corner store to buy a toilet plunger (it wasn't me, i promise)! but in the midst of coughs and aches and sweats, i really have felt God's hand of kindness on me. of course, God doesn't give sickness because that is not in His nature to do so - being under-dressed or being out in the rain (or both) brings sickness, riding on the drafty subway soaking wet brings sickness, being with sick people brings sickness - but God doesn't give sickness NO MATTER WHAT!ok, back to my point. friday night rolls around and i was about to lose it. jaci is down in new orleans till thursday partying it up at mardi gras, patrick was working and playing all day - so there i was in the apartment. alone. no one likes to be alone when they're that sick. really, it's one of the few times when i wanna just cry, "i want my mommy!" but of course, it doesn't work out that way, does it.
so God and i had a little chat. "what have i gotten myself into? do i really know what i'm doing? why am i here? did i make the wrong choice? should i go home now?" it was kind of a one-ended conversation at first, with me being a little delirious from the nyquill and emotion from being a girl. but in my ranting, all i asked for was one thing - that i would be able to sense Him close by me in that moment, for my own peace of mind. needless to say, He came and sat with me for a while and we watched larry king live interview snoop dogg.
i love how easy it is to live life with the confidence that i am loved by God and men, that i go through muddy waters sometimes yet still feel as if i am walking on solid foundations. because God isn't a liar like most people i know, when He says He'll never leave, He means it. when He says He loves us enough to discipline us, He means it. when He says that He is our Father and He loves to provide for us, He means it. it's hard to trust sometimes, but when i am in a place where i feel doubtful or blind to His Word, i just have to remember that He already did what He said He was. and He'll do it again over and over and over.
so now i'm gonna get ready for my first day as a starbucks assistant manager, and i am going to get all bundled up cuz guess what? IT'S SNOWING HERE! WOO HOO! the locals must think us californians are crazy for wanting it to snow. it really is beautiful.
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