archive two: nervous about new york
october 22, 2007i am coming closer and closer to my vacation. the only way i could be more excited is if em harmon, katie, em hallas or LEONIE was going to be there. there is desperation in my heart to see one of my ywam perth friends simply because it has been too long since i have seen anyone. but that's an entirely different blog...
now, i'm completely stoked about my trip, but is it weird that i'm a little nervous as well? it is not like i have not traveled by myself before, that is not the deal. maybe it is because i haven't been alone in a while. and by this i mean REALLY alone - to make my own choices, to spend my time however i wish, to wander aimlessly and with no purpose or plan. many things have dictated how my life has been going for a while now, but i am a little afraid that i won't know what to do with myself - maybe i've lost myself a little bit in all of the shuffle of life. i hope not.
there are a few other things that i am a little nervous about:
-what if i don't like the hot dogs?
-what if i get mugged?
-what if i take the wrong subway and end up in washington, or even worse, maine?
-i am acquainted with JACI (the cool kat i'm staying with), but in reality i don't know her that well. so what if she doesn't enjoy my company or down-right gets annoyed with me? i can be an aquired taste, i think...
-what if i enjoy myself so much that i don't want to come home?
-or what if i come home and i feel even more unsatisfied with my life's current circumstances than before i left?
i am sure that i sound a bit whiny at the moment, but everything i am saying is the truth. i'm a little nervous. so remember me this week - and if you're talking to God, do me a favor and ask Him to give me a lil' extra peace, will ya? i appreciate it!
Currently reading :
unChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks about Christianity... and Why It Matters
By David Kinnaman
Release date: 01 October, 2007
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